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September 10, 2010

646. Alien
Directed by Ridley Scott
UK/USA, 1979
IMDB | allmovie

Reviewed by Ally
First viewing


The crew of commercial hauler spaceship Nostromo try to kill a bad alien but they keep getting killed by the bad alien until there’s only one person who hasn’t been killed by the bad alien, so she can be in another film about trying to kill bad aliens. She’s called Ripley (Sigourney Weaver).

Also she manages to save a cat. Small victories…

Essential Scene:

Kane (John Hurt) had a bad alien stuck to his face after it jumped at him out an egg. It was like the bad alien was doing a sex on his face when he didn’t want that. Then the bad face-hugging alien dropped off him and went dead, and it looked like Kane was all better so the entire crew had breakfast to celebrate.

Then Kane started to retch like he wanted to do a sick, and he started to go all shaky like he was having a fit or something. The crew held him down on the table and tried to put a spoon in his mouth — like when you play Put the Spoon in the Spasming Man’s Mouth at a birthday party.

The Bad Alien

The Bad Alien

Then his t-shirt went all red from blood and some of it sprayed on the crew and made them a bit scared. But not as scared as when THE BAD ALIEN BURST OUT OF HIS CHEST! Eugh, there was all blood and guts and a bad alien all in the middle of the blood and guts. And the bad alien ran away, and now it’s going to kill the rest of the crew because it’s a very bad alien.

But at least Ripley and the cat will be alright.


As you might have guessed, I didn’t particularly care for Alien. It’s so ingrained in pop culture that I never really got a “first” viewing. I already knew it was a haunted house movie in space with a sexual subtext, the facehugger leads to the chestburster and nearly everyone dies. The only real surprise was the revelation about Ash (Ian Holm), and even that felt more like a neat way of explaining why anyone would break the quarantine regulations designed to prevent exactly this sort of alien clusterfuck.

Sure, the alien startled me a few times, but then I’d be startled by any loud noise in the midst of quiet — I was once startled by an episode of Peep Show when the toaster ejected toast. But, like sitcom toast, the alien situation didn’t haunt me, didn’t get under my skin, didn’t shit me right up.

And another thing: Why did Ripley save the cat anyway? It could’ve had another baby alien inside it. It should’ve had another baby alien inside it. Imagine an alien bursting out of a cat. Now that’s scary!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Mark Busby permalink
    September 10, 2010 5:37 pm

    I love this film very much. That does not mitigate the fact that this is a brilliant review.


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